I had a moment this evening.
Chopping a bit of green pepper for my dinner, my eldest dog, Max, came into my left eye’s peripheral vision as he slowly backed out – whilst sitting – of the kitchen, as if reacting to something on fire behind me. I was taken aback by his action because I hadn’t been looking – not remotely – in his direction to hint that he should step back out of the kitchen. Nor did I think there was in fact a fire behind me, but it’s hard to resist taking a peek, just in case.
Since it’s just me and the two boys – the dogs that is – I tend to talk to them as if they will return the favor of my company. After I snuck that quick peek at the imaginary fire behind me, I returned to my pepper-chopping while I spoke a few cutesy words to Max about his unexpected behavior. About midway through my sentence, came an unexpected moment of clarity.
It was fleeting, easily less than a second, yet it was filled with more than any words can say. In fact, it’s hard to describe what happened with words. But I’ll give it the old college try…
Happy with this life
Content and comfortable
End internal strife.
Nice reason to try a haiku out… Now, in analysis-mode…
The moment came, I believe, in response to some mental-turmoil I’ve been putting myself through lately. How long can I stand my job? Can I ‘drop out’ and go back to school full time? What can I afford? Do I stay where I’m living or move in with my parents? On and on it’s been going. One day I’ll be so sure of my decision, the next I’ll change my mind. However, over the last few weeks I’ve been more consistently certain of my decision with only brief thoughts of retreat. The moment tonight, however, was on a deeper level, as if to allow my inner consciousness to come through the fog of my thoughts to whisper in my ear, “Everything will be fine. Everything will work out. You are a grown up, and you are happy with your life.”
