No, not his shadow. His farts. Seriously, I’ve been dying to find a way to catch him in the act, sound effect and all, but it’s just not possible. So I just need to write about it.
Peanut, my little and younger dog (though still 7 years old), jumps up and runs away when he toots. I’ll be sitting somewhere, minding my own business when I hear a little air pocket… a sort of wwwfft sound… and Peanut will start and run off like, “Hey dude, I don’t know WHAT just happened, but that sure as heck wasn’t me.” It is really funny when you see/hear it happen, and I just had to share. Especially with you Maria. 
(Oh, and other times, he’ll just sniff it… I swear. Disgusting.)
A few months ago I met a guy who didn’t have a cell phone. This wouldn’t have been memorable a decade ago but today a cell phone is not only an accessory, it’s replacing our memory. Frustrated when the guy couldn’t recall his ride’s number, he exclaimed, “This is why I hate cell phones. You can’t remember anyone’s number anymore!”
Filed Under (Out of Context) by elusivone on 13-04-2006
The other day I was at a BBQ at a friend's house, one of only two in attendance that didn't go to high-school or college together. The grill had been fired up and the host had offered it up to anyone who wanted to grill their own items.
Best Buddy X decided to take on grilling the Portabello mushroom caps for those who were vegetarians; however, he was a carnivore and had never grilled these before. "I've never cooked these before," he shouted to the slightly inebriated group, "what do I do?"
Because I have a sick need to prove I have some form of knowledge stored in my gray matter, I answered, "They're supposed to cook up just like hamburgers. Throw them on and let 'em cook." I followed up that assured comment with, "However, I've only READ that – I've never DONE it. Don't take my word for it."
Best Buddy X started laying the caps on the grill when I realized that perhaps there's a test case to be made. I shouted, "Maybe just cook one for now to see if it works before you do them all?" To which I received the following response:
"To get results, you need to repeat the experiment. I'm repeating the experiment… just all at once."
Filed Under (Out of Context) by elusivone on 13-04-2006
"The way I figure it is, we've put so much into it and come so far… just give up."
"I wish I could have accidents like that happen without me having to think about them."
